To me, LIFE is really all about building relationships. Relationships come from developing lasting friendships with those around us; it's about supporting and loving one another. Relationships are hard work. So, why do we build them? What do we expect from them? How do we keep them strong? What do you have to give to others? When you "move on" does it really serve anyone, and are you doing so at the expense of others? What is the other person's paradigm? Can either party see beyond themselves and their own feelings? When you participate in relationship building, do you speak with love or spite?
These are just but a few of the questions and actions that impact the strength of our bonds. We all experience life in different ways. We must take the time to learn how we can improve the lives of those with whom we associate in a positive way. Friendship should never be toxic to yourself or others. It is a moral and ethical imperative that we build lasting relationships that promote strength and goodwill toward others. We all struggle at different times in our lives; faith, family, friendship, finances, following - just to name a few. If your approach to life is to take what you can (what's in it for me) and have an attitude of "you get what you get in life"; you are missing the point. Friendship is supposed to compliment, not take. Friendships in LIFE should have direction and purpose.
When we operate from a standpoint of "what can I give?", we find knowledge of self and we develop our ability to love as a verb, not as a result of just physical/emotional feelings. Feelings are human, they are not trustworthy in that they frequently are of the "cause & effect" variety. Our environment, the words and actions of others create situations that force us to make choices. If you operate only from a standpoint of how do I feel about it, you only see a third of the relationship. How you feel, how the other person feels, and how those around you feel are all intertwined and frequently misunderstood. Unfortunately, it requires all parties to think equally of the other and that is only possible when learning takes place together and the intent is to serve.
On the other hand, friendships cannot be simply logical either. Logic blocks emotion and forces us to see things as black & white. It's not a healthy viewpoint in that the logical person becomes selfish when they don't take into account the feelings and emotional state of others. That said - can one person really be everything, everywhere, and always attentive to just one person given the impact of our schedules and commitments we make to and with others? I think not - we are all part of a community. There is only one who can be all to everyone and He is not any of us.
On the other hand, friendships cannot be simply logical either. Logic blocks emotion and forces us to see things as black & white. It's not a healthy viewpoint in that the logical person becomes selfish when they don't take into account the feelings and emotional state of others. That said - can one person really be everything, everywhere, and always attentive to just one person given the impact of our schedules and commitments we make to and with others? I think not - we are all part of a community. There is only one who can be all to everyone and He is not any of us.
How you act, based on your morals and beliefs, will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative. I have had many an occasion where I relied on my feelings instead of on my faith -and entered into friendships/relationships that became toxic. Toxic, in that I allowed others to overwhelm my life and control my emotions, to the point where I lost sight of the prize and limited my own endeavors to pursue my dreams and purpose. The outcome is not a positive one. I have had to apologize many times and though I do my hardest to seek to understand, I will probably have to do it again. That said, when I make mistakes, I try to learn something new about myself and about others. In the end, if everyone could do this it would serve to make us better by understanding a little bit more about why we do what we do, to ourselves and thus to others.
When we operate from faith and from purpose; a viewpoint of love and trust; open and honest communication can flow. Our friendships grow strong and develop into lasting relationships. We can then make choices that serve others instead of ourselves and we learn to treat ourselves and others with respect and dignity. Accept grace - It's a lesson that is hard to learn but it is worth it.
When we operate from faith and from purpose; a viewpoint of love and trust; open and honest communication can flow. Our friendships grow strong and develop into lasting relationships. We can then make choices that serve others instead of ourselves and we learn to treat ourselves and others with respect and dignity. Accept grace - It's a lesson that is hard to learn but it is worth it.
Live well - Be Well!
Stephen
Stephen
