What Color are YOUR Glasses??

The proverbial Rose Colored glasses - do you own a pair? More importantly, do you ever take them off? What do you see when you look at the people and places and events that compose your life?

I am not exactly sure where the phrase comes from - perhaps it's a Lennon thing; you know, John being all poetic about love, and peace, and happiness and such with those little Ben Franklins on? If that is the case, why would everyone have such a chip on their shoulder about that - seems to me that if more people thought that way, the world would actually be a better place, yes?
In any case, I find the use of the term to be somewhat less than a compliment and more of a accusation. As in, "oh, why don't you take off those glasses & see things as they really are!" My immediate thought is, really - I can't choose to see things they way I do because it may not happen to be the way you see them, or the way the "majority" see them? Is it not decidedly interesting that the people who accuse others of being idealistic are typically those that can't even see the trees in the forest, never mind the actual forest? All they see is the long road they have to take to get there perhaps?

What got me started on this was a conversation I had with an acquaintance a few days ago. They were complaining about the rain - oh it's so dreary & such...I looked at them and said, "Wow! It's so beautiful outside! The trees are wet and shiny and the colors of the leaves are so vibrant and the lawns are so green!
"Take off those rose glasses", I heard back. Wow indeed!
Why is it so hard to see the good in almost everything? Why can't some people (most?) see that there is so much beauty and wonder all around us everyday? I've come to the conclusion that it's those glasses - those Rose colored glasses. It's not that I have them on, it's that others do!
Your attitude is your filter, it controls almost everything you see, do and feel; or rather the way that you do.
Your attitude results from taking all that you have learned and putting it to use in your world. As I read and understand more and more about people and why they think the way they do, it occurs to me that we all start out with very clear lenses, maybe somewhat distorted, but decidedly clear. For many, as the road of life leads winds away into the future, those lenses gradually, almost imperceptively, get cloudy and colored by the adversity and fear that we all must face; 'til we get to the point where our lenses are fully colored, and we don't even know it.

The death of my father once caused me great pain and it took me years to break through that. My glasses were then broken when I rediscovered my faith, and therefore myself, and an organization of people that helped me to learn that there are many truths in the world. One of these, I rediscovered, is that there is great beauty in almost everything, but oftentimes you have to look for it. I made the decision that I would be a "good finder" and that I would do my best to help others to do the same - perhaps it was a gift given to me by The Spirit. What I do know is this; one of the great keys to a happy, successful life is not in pursuing what you want, but in wanting what you already have. It comes from maintaining a vibrant and healthy relationship with God, yourself, and your ability and will to serve others. When you do this, I believe you see things more clearly, and you realize that your rose lenses weren't really all that rosey.
Learn like you're going to live for ever, and live like you're going to die tomorrow - and toss those glasses in the trash!

Live well - Be Well!
Stephen

Thoughts on Government and Leadership...

I am reluctant at time to comment on this issue with some because I didn't want to come across as "reactionary" - which seems to be the position many have taken in regard to our current economical and governmental state of affairs. However - is there a more important issue we face as a nation today? I think not! I take this very seriously and it has become an important part of my life.

From the books that I have read, and the people with whom I choose to associate, and the discourse that I have with said others on both sides of the issues we face - the problems are obvious to those who pay attention (the key here is - WHO is paying attention?); and while the solutions are many, I am convinced that it will be the collective collaboration of the few who will influence and lead the many.

My position in not one of proposing some kind of "quick fix" (and I cringe at that type of mentality) because I don't believe it is possible! WE (the people) cannot simply replace a hundred years of thought and ever-increasing government control over our lives and the economy overnight - any more than we can "instill the principles of democracy" in the tribal/nomadic communities of the middle east that have existed as such for 1000's of years! However, I digress... Like any good habit, change takes place gradually over time. (Like our consumer debt - How did we all go broke? - well it happened gradually over time and then suddenly all at once! Funny thing is, success works exactly the same way...)

We, as concerned citizens, have to start somewhere. Understanding that there is a significant, fundamental problem is a great starting point. Electing qualified individuals to lead our country is a great place to begin addressing the problems we have, but therin lies a very specific issue with very non-specific parameters - Who is "qualified" and how do we quantify that? What exactly is the "right type" of mentality to prevent the looming socio-economic collapse?

My position is that this "quality" that we must seek and empower in those that we choose to lead our nation is exactly the same type of quality we must have and promote amongst the populace.

EDUCATION is key. What would happen if everyone in the country was forced to read, understand, and discuss great pieces of literature like: The Federalist Papers, A Thomas Jefferson Education, Democracy in America, How about the CONSTITUTION and AMENDMENTS?!

Could we effect a principled and character driven change in America - starting right in the home through the teachings of the great minds in history - you know, those folks who have experienced the discourse, the battles, and the level of commitment that it takes to build and effectively create and lead a "free" nation?

It is said that Leaders are Readers, but not all readers are leaders. Principled and character-driven statesmen and solid time-proven principles are exactly the type of people and ideas that will effect the change we need as a nation to survive. So what are you reading? How will effect change if you won't make the time to add this essential habit to your daily life? The short answer is that you can't, really. I believe it to be the exact thing that this country needs and time has shown to be a proven principle for growth and success.

I have committed myself to changing the world - because I have no doubt that I can! We all can - each and every one of us! We have influence and ours must be the decision to actually do so - action conquers fear! I have taken action by participating in organizations and a business community with which I can and will continue to learn and influence others to the best of my ability. Armed and strengthened by the information that is promoted through the Team and LIFE and others, I will have an impact.

What will you commit do other than to talk about it?
MAKE A DIFFERENCE, I know that you can, the question remains, will you?

Live Well - Be Well!
Stephen

Resolve to join the Resolution Revolution!

Well, It's the end of the second week of January and do you know what that means? That means that the last of the Thanksgiving to NYE partying and overeating (and whatever else you do to excess) is over and most of the people out there (maybe even one of you two people who actually read this) have already broken their New Year Resolutions! It's a factoid! 90% of the people who make 'em - break 'em within the first two weeks!

A few years ago, I found a way to get out out of this trap and it has actually worked pretty well, no really! No, I didn't decide that I would "no longer make resolutions", instead, I decided that I would resolve to create a plan of action for personal improvement each year - that (just happens to) coincides with the start of each year!

So what do I do - each year (starting the second week of January) I give up all my vices for 90 days and focus on self-improvement! No drinking, no smoking, no red meat. How do I do this? Get this - I buy my favorite beer & put it in the fridge; I buy my favorite smokes & put them in my humidor; I make sure I have a couple of bottles of my favorite wines; then I put a picture of a nice big juicy steak on my fridge (I don't freeze steak...)!! Why would I do this? Because it's excellent motivation for the gym! Just think - 90 days of exercise, eating well, and no vices - it's a great challenge! Did I just hear a collective groan from both of you?

My friends, you all may think I'm nuts, but I know that it's good for me on so many levels; physical, mental, spiritual. If you never stretch yourself, how will you ever know what you're capable of? Resolutions are hard work, and they should be because they are supposed to mold your character. They should be significant improvements that impact your life over time, and not just for some temporary moment in time. When you are not preoccupied with entertaining yourself - it's amazing how much time there is in the day!

So why am I telling you this? Because I believe that most people, just like me, will find it very exciting to know that when you are capable of setting your mind to something and can achieve a simple, small goal or two by challenging yourself - you grow, you stretch yourself and that's a life lesson that's worth sharing! Who knows, perhaps your children, or a coworker, or a friend will see you dream, struggle, and emerge victorious and be inspired to try it themselves! It's pretty cool, how that little confidence booster suddenly allows you the option to Think BIG! After all - isn't that in part of what our great country was founded on in the first place - a burning desire to make the most of ourselves?

Live Well - Be Well!
Stephen

Friendship, Faith and Relationships

To me, LIFE is really all about building relationships. Relationships come from developing lasting friendships with those around us; it's about supporting and loving one another. Relationships are hard work. So, why do we build them? What do we expect from them? How do we keep them strong? What do you have to give to others? When you "move on" does it really serve anyone, and are you doing so at the expense of others? What is the other person's paradigm? Can either party see beyond themselves and their own feelings? When you participate in relationship building, do you speak with love or spite?

These are just but a few of the questions and actions that impact the strength of our bonds. We all experience life in different ways. We must take the time to learn how we can improve the lives of those with whom we associate in a positive way. Friendship should never be toxic to yourself or others. It is a moral and ethical imperative that we build lasting relationships that promote strength and goodwill toward others. We all struggle at different times in our lives; faith, family, friendship, finances, following - just to name a few. If your approach to life is to take what you can (what's in it for me) and have an attitude of "you get what you get in life"; you are missing the point. Friendship is supposed to compliment, not take. Friendships in LIFE should have direction and purpose.

When we operate from a standpoint of "what can I give?", we find knowledge of self and we develop our ability to love as a verb, not as a result of just physical/emotional feelings. Feelings are human, they are not trustworthy in that they frequently are of the "cause & effect" variety. Our environment, the words and actions of others create situations that force us to make choices. If you operate only from a standpoint of how do I feel about it, you only see a third of the relationship. How you feel, how the other person feels, and how those around you feel are all intertwined and frequently misunderstood. Unfortunately, it requires all parties to think equally of the other and that is only possible when learning takes place together and the intent is to serve.

On the other hand, friendships cannot be simply logical either. Logic blocks emotion and forces us to see things as black & white. It's not a healthy viewpoint in that the logical person becomes selfish when they don't take into account the feelings and emotional state of others. That said - can one person really be everything, everywhere, and always attentive to just one person given the impact of our schedules and commitments we make to and with others? I think not - we are all part of a community. There is only one who can be all to everyone and He is not any of us.

How you act, based on your morals and beliefs, will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative. I have had many an occasion where I relied on my feelings instead of on my faith -and entered into friendships/relationships that became toxic. Toxic, in that I allowed others to overwhelm my life and control my emotions, to the point where I lost sight of the prize and limited my own endeavors to pursue my dreams and purpose. The outcome is not a positive one. I have had to apologize many times and though I do my hardest to seek to understand, I will probably have to do it again. That said, when I make mistakes, I try to learn something new about myself and about others. In the end, if everyone could do this it would serve to make us better by understanding a little bit more about why we do what we do, to ourselves and thus to others.

When we operate from faith and from purpose; a viewpoint of love and trust; open and honest communication can flow. Our friendships grow strong and develop into lasting relationships. We can then make choices that serve others instead of ourselves and we learn to treat ourselves and others with respect and dignity. Accept grace - It's a lesson that is hard to learn but it is worth it.

Live well - Be Well!

Stephen

Against The Wind...

Will you find yourself seeking shelter against the wind? Am I the only one who struggles with what to leave in & what to leave out? I think not.
Life is a constant battle of the mind; mind over matter, mind over distraction, mind over the constant negative media and feedback from others as you swim upstream, against the current. The questions, the unsolicited feedback, the constant negative. The constant need to find that which motivates and drives you forward - What's next? What can I be doing now? How do I get there?

Plan, Do, Check, and Adjust for success.
It takes courage to chase your dreams; to do the things necessary to achieve them, and to stand up to those who have so little, they try to steal yours away from you. We all have the ability to develop the courage necessary, when will you begin?

I am the only person stopping me from reaching my vision for the future - want to guess who's stopping you?
Get hungry, get angry, get busy, join me in this battle.

Live well - Be well!

Stephen

Lead, Follow, or move out of the way!!

Hello again my friends, how is your summer going? Are you keeping up with your favorite followings? Who or what are you following and why? Have you ever really thought about it in regard to the significance it plays in your life? Everybody follows - even if you follow only yourself! Is your following focused on entertainment (distraction) or education (improvement)? Do you have the need for both? I read a quote that said, "The ability to succeed at anything lies in your ability to not be distracted." I believe that this applies to many things in LIFE, certainly the Who, What, and Why of our chosen "following" is no exception.

Sports teams, TV shows, talk radio, celebrities, NASCAR, unhealthy addictions, the list of distractions goes on forever. I think about the people I meet, and even the person I used to be not so long ago, who spend countless hours and tens of thousands of their hard-earned income chasing someone else's dream. These are the same people who wonder why their income is not keeping pace with their expenses, or why other people just seem to be "lucky" that they have more time or money. Don't get me wrong, it does feel good to know that your team overcame adversity and had an epic win, but did your child play on that team? Did you? What lesson did you learn from your experience that you can share with others to help them grow? How did the time spent move you closer to achieving your dreams?

I believe it is much more important to focus on things that really make a difference in our LIFE. Do you still have the ability to dream? How can we contribute toward fixing the economy? What are we to do about the sense of entitlement and complacency that has affected our society? What is my God-given purpose and How do I make the most of it? How can we find and elect men and women of character to work together and lead our country back into prosperity? How can I learn and grow and be a positive influence? How can I improve my performance at work?

Do you know that a majority of Americans don't read anything after leaving their last educational institution? Did you know that those who do - read only 1-2 books annually? (My question is what are they reading?!) The following that I pursue and recommend highly is progress as in progressive thought, coaching, and learning. I have found that if you are not striving to improve, to move forward, you are going backwards. Nobody "stays the same" when others are consistently learning and growing. Don't believe me? Try to do all of your child's homework for a week. Talk to anyone who is currently unemployed and looking for work in this currently flooded pool of job seekers.

In recent years I was lucky enough to be introduced to some men and women who have created a community determined to afford all it's members (followers) the tools needed to succeed in all 8 key areas of LIFE. One of the primary reasons for their success is their ability to learn and teach - learn faster than the competition, put that knowledge to the test, and then teach what has been learned. Knowledge applied consistently over time = the ability to succeed. Success leaves clues - these are usually found in books written by those who have been through the struggle to victory in pursuit of their dreams, but we have to read them to understand how it was done. Be careful who you get your advice from, do they have the success that you want? I invite you to ask/consider such questions in your own life. Consider joining us on our quest to connect a million people together as leaders in the quest for LIFE! Talk about a following of significance! Wishing you all the best!

Live Well - Be Well!

Stephen

Friends for L.I.F.E.

The Team community building business has indeed carved out a unique position in the world of commerce with the concept of LIFE (Living Intentionally For Excellence). Since many of the people (blogs) whom I am following have already explained this concept in great detail - I won't cover all the aspects again here, but I do intend to focus on each of the 8 F's over the next few weeks to give you a feel for, and perhaps inspire you to consider, how you apply each of them in your life. I stress the word apply, because the concept of Life is just that - it is developing an understanding of each of the 8 F's and then applying them into your life with specific intent.
The first of the F's is Faith. My relationship with God is personal and it will suffice to say that I believe, and I know why I believe what I believe - I pray that you can say the same about your faith!
The second F is Family - I have one and I love them unconditionally.
The third F is Friendship, my topic for today's thoughts.

I was talking with a friend (a very dear friend) about planning a summer trip and whom of our friends we would invite to come and stay with us. This got us both discussing who we consider to be our friends and why? I mean you don't really invite just anyone you "know" to come and live with you for a period of time do you? There's a difference between an acquaintance and true friendship, yes? I don't mean to sound harsh but given the key differences between the two, I believe that most of us have much more of the former than the latter, and I'm not so sure that many people stop and realize this until its too late and someone disappoints us.

I believe that the key differences between the two are the value and degree of trust that is shared between the parties concerned. Not to say that I don't value and trust my acquaintances, but certainly true friends deservedly have a much deeper level of mutual commitment. I place a high degree of value on the fact that I have a few people in my life that I can be whatever and whomever I am with with zero fear that I won't be ridiculed or shunned (at least not in a mean-spirited way!). A true friend has your back, has your best interest in mind, and is free to say whatever they feel is right because trust has been established and they speak with love in their heart. Some of the other words I could use are: mutually beneficial, easy, forgiving, grace filled, flexible. Far too often I hear people in general complain about how a "friend" has let them down or just plain don't have nice things to say about others that they title their "friends". If someone is really your friend or vice-versa, such actions represent a complete lack of regard for the character and understanding of the concept of friendship just described.

So, that said - how many people in your life truely meet these criteria and Is it possible to have too many true friends? Is there a limit on how many people you can truly know, love, and trust on an up-close and personal level? My friend said, "yes, because part of true friendship is that you are there (physically) for that person whenever they need you." I disagree on that point. While it is true that you can't be all things to all people, you can develop many deep friendships over time and not necessarily with the person next door. The key factor here is trust. President R.Reagan once said, "Trust, but verify!" Therefore it can be given freely but it takes time to develop and earn it deeply.
The people in my life that share their lives, thoughts, and dreams with me have come from both near and far. I grew up and went to school with some, others have come from my career associations , and still others from random events in my life. I have only a few great friendships and until recently I really hadn't considered that more would be a good thing. I always thought that less is more, but now as I grow older and have discovered a new appreciation for learning, reading, sharing, and growing - I feel that we have so much to learn from and share with each other. Perhaps it is God's intention for all of us to develop and have deep understanding for our fellow man and "to be there" means not just physically, but emotionally - both far and wide. I urge you to dare to build as many true friendships as you can, for the benefits are many and the impact on our society will be great.
High trust amongst men shall lead to His grace spread freely upon the earth.

Live Well - Be Well!
Stephen